Since it's the end of the year and whatnot and since I'm a writer and whatnot I thought I should probably share with you The Best Books of 2009, and by "The Best Books of 2009" I don't mean that these books were released in 2009, or that I read them in 2009 or that I read them at all or that I know anything about them, just that I learned of their existence and also their awesomeness in 2009.
Two ways you can always finish what you start:
1--When you start, do not stop until you have finished.
2--Do not start.
People keep asking me if they can do stuff with my stuff, and yet stuff with my stuff is never done.
Where is the stuff?
So far people have asked me if they can:
Make a short film out of "Future Me"
Make a short film out of "I Am a Zombie Filled With Love"
Do a dramatic performance based on "I Am a Zombie Filled With Love"
Do a book report on "Warm Bodies"
Make a graphic novel out of "Blind Date"
Record a cover song of "What the Mountain Said"
The answer to all these requests has been "Yes, but I want to see it when you're done."
But--have I seen short films, dramatic performances, book reports, graphic novels, or cover songs?
I have not.
This makes me do this:
Which is not a face with an elephant trunk, but rather a face--my face--crying a pool of tears.
Please do not toy with my emotions. My emotions are not toys.
These are toys:
My emotions are none of these things. Except maybe sometimes the third one.
After saving it up for years, I don't think I can hold it in anymore, so I'm going to let go and release a flood of short stories all over you people. Wait, that came out wrong. What I mean to say is, I'm going to self-publish a short story collection.
I never did this before because I figured I'd just wait and see if I could publish them legitimately once Warm Bodies comes out, but apparently this is unlikely. My agent may be able to sell some of them individually to various literary journals, etc, but a book of shorts is apparently unsellable in the current industry climate. So I'm just going to do it myself.
I'm currently working on my longest and most complex short ever, almost a novella, really, and when I finish it, the book will appear. Magically, by itself. So I guess this is a mostly useless posting, but I just wanted to let you know what I'm working on right now, and hopefully build some anticipation because these books are going to be cool and unique and made by hand and I want you to have them.
That is all. Bye.